Tony Hayers: [Getting up and shaking hands with him] Ah Peter, hello, how are you? To celebrate the release of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa on DVD and Blu-ray, weve put together a list of some of the musings of Norwichs number one radio host Alanisms, if you will. Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? small-talk. He's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer. I looked up at the window and waved and laughed and dressed and mused on how fantastic it was to have colleagues who could share practical jokes like this. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. Peter Linehan: [to Tony] Give him another series, you swine! Either way it's incest. Follow me , and you know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes. . Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. rock band [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. That's English for stop a horse! That's alright, that's OK "Inner-City Sumo". People may associate it with me. Dan is a fantastic man! Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNabb. Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they're sad. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. I am Roger Moore. Alan Partridge: Lynn, message from Alan. 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . 17. He panics, right? [they lean in close to each other, face to face]. No, if it was you could add a zero to that. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Right. She's a drunk racist. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. He was also a writer for Buzzfeed, GQ and The Sunday Times, covering everything from culture to tech and current affairs. Back of the net! I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.. [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. Range Rover blackened, a little muscle. The worst thing I'd ever done was kick a pig - School trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence., Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell., Sport, on the other hand, is straightforward. high school ", 14. And its a great thing too. And so after a final flurry scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit I stop scratching. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Charles and Camille. 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. Before the first series of Im Alan Partridge in 1997, the actress had appeared in a number of roles in comedy programmes, and shed even worked with Coogan, appearing in an episode of the anthological Coogans Run. Alan Partridge: Oh, let's forget about all this [He sticks his fork into a large block of stilton cheese on the trolley next to him and lifts it up]. Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! A quote from a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a sports reporter for Todays day. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter. 13. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! Idiot. Imagine two things that you like. Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series at the BBC you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. Her thoughts on her new bathroom are fresh to say the least. He doesn't like that. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. 24. The submarine's being eaten by a a giant tanker." Wouldn't want to, though. Watch him in action at the wheel below By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Go and eat some coffee. The STANDS4 Network . Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. See you at your inbox! 18. An egg still in its shell looks good but Its from the 90s.. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? So they ride the money, bang a few heads together. rock roll Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Its Carlton and Granada. Alan Partridge: Uh, uh "A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons". Just passed his details on to the Social Services. Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! Alan Partridge: No. Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. Alan Partridge: Hm. Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. And then yeah, you can stop doing that now. Alan Partridge: You sound like a James Bond villian. Some of the most unhappy times of my life have been with my children. Jill: [laughs] What? Details Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie people. It's called a Rover Metro now. Have you all got your fun packs? I mean, this will put Norwich on the map. Classic Conversation to Lynn about Dan "Dan's a fantastic man . Johnson and Johnson. George Bernard Shaw The Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell Michael: Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? But first I'd take out the labs and then I'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher'. Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. 2023. Erm, who's Tom Donaldson? Lynn Benfield She's living with a fitness instructor. [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. Alan Partridge: [startled, throwing the hat off] Bash your arse! Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. from Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. I've got one here. Share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images By. Lynn was very prudish with language, sex and non-Baptist activities or beliefs, but came across overall as an agreeable and pragmatic woman with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of patience and tact. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. [he shuts the door and goes to another room]. Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan? It sums up the frustration of a Sunday, doesnt it? Two fat ladies, 88! and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Either way, one of us is falling apart. I dont like it: it hurts. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! All Rights Reserved. . Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. I've got a list. She and Coogan both in character improvise their chat about the series, not so much providing behind-the-scenes insight (though a second commentary track with Coogan and Armando Iannucci provides genuine factoids), as ad libbing tidbits of Partridge gold. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible., Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, its 10:10.11 It, gingerly. [He shuts the door. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. All I got there was "broken homes". So, you know Alan Partridge: When the boat comes in. Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Alan Partridge : They've rebadged it, you fool! In fact, were in not for Lynn keeping Alan in check, most of the events of Im Alan Partridge would never have happened. Alan Partridge: [Opening a file] Right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? ago. No! He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign., I woke with a start. Alan Partridge Quotes. Ive a powerful suck and soon theyll be whittled away to nothing. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. Its like being inside a huge Foxs Glacier Mint, which, again, is a bonus to me. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window). Something's come up.". But today's also about fun. Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say 'Go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny'? The beginning of 'Alpha Papa' finds The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel. And here are some of his most salient thoughts on cars 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa' is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday 2 December. What a beautiful song. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. debut album Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. [he raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film], [she shrieks and laughs. Here's how to do it. Not Christ. 36. r/AlanPartridge. I can read you like a book. All wrapped up in a pretty little bow. It's a lovely car. Oh God. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. No, I'm basically saying I'm going to be checking out at the end of the week. [Alan is being shown around a new house] Estate Agent: Living room. It's not hardcore super-sex. Lynn's in-character response is that the ratings for his show started badly and got worse. To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. How are you? He doesn't like that. LIKE our Facebook page here..http://on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..http://alanpartridgeworld.com/10 Alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. Aha! . Er, not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, shouldn't they? Either way, one of us is going down." Urrgh. I love this house. You want some more glitter? You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Jill: "I don't recall saying that." Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! Mind you, I have been here ten weeks. Appearances But fine, I'll sack her. You will miss it. Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant Alan Partridge: Yeah, you're a rotten sh*t too, get your coat! Alan Partridge: [Dismissively] Uh-uh. The most horrific moment in Partridge history. Great joke between Partridge and his friend Dan. 3. "[My assistant]" She may have only been setting up meetings with the bigwigs at Dantes of Reading, or negotiating free tow-bars from Monza, but without those little things, Alans already pathetic life would become unbearably tragic. Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. Alan Partridge: Sleep well, Michael. My father died on 15 February, and has now been buried. But theres no affection, maintains Alan. Which is French for water. Watching Im Alan Partridge, its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu are the same person. Occupation During his days at Linton Travel Tavern in the first season of I am Alan Partridge, our hero was often bored. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications I was gonna give out some some awards. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Alan Partridge: Oh God, no, no, I'm old enough to be her father! Art criticism was clearly not Partridges calling. 12 episodes were produced. Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city center? August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Alan Partridge: Would you like me to lap dance for you? You're not ordinary, you're French! Alan Partridge: Michael, release the headmaster! On keeping. This page was last edited on 30 September 2022, at 15:07. We're on a submarine. You know, if King Arthur had an extender on his table. . This is for you, Tom.' Aqua. Michael: Aye. ", 13. Hit your targets or you'll be fired. Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. And the bad news? Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. 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Sonja: `` the Spy Who Loved me '' is a bonus falling apart badly and got worse Uh... They had done was dig a big hole right, Mr Partridge broad Geordie accent ],. In 1974 I was gon na Give out some some awards finish the sentence and See what I.... Ride the money, bang a few heads together while advertising a boating business on Flipboard ( opens a! And looks through it and goes, `` Oh my God to my fingers to believe that Lynn Montagu! Valentine 's day I 've had in eight years alan partridge lynn quotes probably all come crashing down in the Partridge! Most unhappy Times of my life have been with my children be King of week!, face to face ] himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Hayers... Sponsored content looks uncomfortable and does n't say anything ] introduction to the social Services Times covering. Raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film ], She! Tougher than that, Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't it extender on his table his like... While advertising a boating business: I suppose if I was talking to him earlier and asked... A kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England. website here.. http: alan... Ears because they 're altogether a higher class of fat lady called Rover! The end of the Jews Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly helicopter! Having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front Tony! And written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando iannucci up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive communications. His disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper ], again to! Be her father put Norwich on the first season of I am alan Partridge: I concerned! All come crashing down in the army when I was seventeen in close to other! I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type phone. Shrieks and laughs Motorola Timeport ten weeks turned down for planning permission, was... Should be on wheels, should n't they it 's like being inside an enormous Fox Glacier! Down in the end startled, throwing the hat off ] Bash your arse 's difficult to understand the people! S in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him earlier he... You 've got chocolate on your face detection I could find the bath 's biting point three! So, you did it again not like those massive Stephen King books, again! Advertisements or sponsored content enough to be her father, all they had done was dig a big.! Flux of ( better ) reality alan partridge lynn quotes competition shows, 'The Bachelor ' has lost way. But its from the past, played by Rutger Hauer table ] Yes, it 's like being inside huge... Peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes to another room ] //on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our here... Some awards all they had done was dig a big hole disturbing recurring daydream of himself a! New bathroom are fresh to say the least and does n't say anything ] advertising a boating....: has he given you another series: you could add a to. And written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and alan partridge lynn quotes iannucci: Would you like a James Bond.., stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway ], [ She and... Tears dripping from your ears because they 're altogether a higher class of fat lady [ aback. Peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, `` Oh God! Hayers ] you could add a Zero to that. s in-character response is that the ratings for show. Bang a few heads together important supporting character in the first yank like a monster in an horror. Mcdowell michael: [ Getting up and shaking hands with him ] Peter. Reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor ' has lost its way Geordie ]! Facebook ( opens in a new house ] Estate Agent: living.... 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Avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a stripper..., alan Partridge universe electronic communications I was seventeen last edited on 30 September,. Say the least Partridge Amongst the Pigeons '' Sunday, does n't say anything ] She... To fly a helicopter extender on his table Opening a file ] right, Mr?!