It deep ends. Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. Mount Rushmore. After all, the best way to break the ice is by making others laugh out loud. What does a school and a plant have in common? Nothing, they texted. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" Parents when I was 5: Go to your room. Hey, asks the brunette at the wheel. 25. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Why is it important to have a dog in the house where there is a teenager? What did the jack say to the car on the side of the road? I thought I'd tell you a brilliant time-travel joke. Neither. 2 Don't day dream while driving if you really want to be back home. Yup., Blondes License: Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? Supplies!. Your cell phone number [should] be the same as your license plate number, so if you drive like a jackass, we can call you up. 1. In the spirit of their fascination with all things auto, buckle up for these fun and hilarious kid-friendly car jokes, witty puns, and one-liners that will really move the little or big kid in your life. The librarian says, This is a library. The man apologizes and whispers, Id like a hamburger, please.. All rights reserved. If a chemistry and biology teacher go to a bar, where do they sit? 94. *Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry. SUNday, 100. Pearis 3. Why dont history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages? One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you.. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too. Git along, little doggies. Favorite Blonde Driver Jokes: Still, kids love playing with them, obsessing over them, and destroying the living room in the process. Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. Blonde Rides Shotgun: You look flushed, 71. 79. He swore he did his homework. Because on the poster, it said under 18 not allowed. What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Beer. Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Theres no menu, we just give you what you deserve. Mashed potato. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. Where is pop corn? A cant opener! Because pepper water makes them sneeze! Why were they called the Dark Ages? Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say? Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it. Your head hits the ceiling! What kind of fighter never uses his fist, but his weapons are delicious? What time does a duck wake up? 2. What you need is to learn more. Tell these funnies to your friends and see what they think. What rock group has four members that can't sing or play instruments?Mt. My car is Find out why NFL cheerleaders do or don't receive Super Bowl rings after a big win. He looks quite puzzled. What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes? Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Whos there? Within a few seconds, they were in a fistfight. Why did the math book look so sad? Which rock group has four guys who cant sing or play instruments? What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? Fortunately, it was just a phase though. Ten-tickles, 57. Why cant a T-rex clap their hands? Because of the fans, 101. What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don't use it at all? I met a woman who said she knew me from a vegan caf. Because they cant even. STEM. What is a group of hiking US college students called? Watt's up? Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? 42. 5 Make sure you're QUALIFIED not koalafied for driving. Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? The invention of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss Manners' opinion. Being an avid reader, she keeps herself up to date with research. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday? How many teens are required to change toilet paper? Try some from the collection below! "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after . He woke up. But telling a joke from the collection below could help you! Oh yeah, imagination. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Older Woman: I stole this car. Pupil, 30. As a matter of fact, I do. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? They both can do hat tricks. I was looking for the lightning when itstruck me. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Ouch! What type of jokes or riddles are you searching for? What is the best day to go to the beach? An animal that's totally in a baaaaaad moooood. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Cash. When was the comma told by the period to move away? Not only that, but its also terrible. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot. Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet? Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy weather? Ruff ruff. A Christmas Quacker! That is great how you saw without looking. Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? 3 Don't stand in a new driver's way. What kind of tree fits into your hand? One letter. Students-dying. 32. She kept running away from the ball. Im changing! Knock knock. Put it on my bill.. Hit me one more time., 49. Whats a balloons least favorite type of music? What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? Git along, little doggies. Kanga. A palm tree. Here are some of the best knock-knock jokes that will help you share a hearty laugh with teenagers. Hit me baby one more time. What do a judge and an English teacher have in common? A good laugh can be a huge stressbuster for your adorable teen. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? 6. "Do you see any cops following us?" The blonde turns around. Because it has a silent pee. So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. Its a faux pa. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? What does the worlds top dentist get? Related:75 of the Doggone Best Dog Jokes Thatll Have You Barking With Laughter, 36. 39. What is a sleeping bull called? If you do, the joke will then be on you! ~Author unknown A stick, 14. 10. She couldn't find her glasses. 2. Using their snowcaps. Its always windy in a sports arena. With so many riddles and jokes in cyberspace, settling on a theme will help you narrow your selections. One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Youre sure to make them laugh out loud! Here are some more funny jokes that you can tell all the other teens! How do wicked chickens reproduce? Sele, Santa Jokes for Kids to Keep Them Laughing All the Way. The husband replies, "He says he knows you. Officer: Don't have one? What book wont teachers give you credit for reading? Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Why do teenagers always travel in a group of three? Jog-raphy, 39. How much is a Speeding Ticket in California? Lean beef. Feyonc. The quack of dawn, 102. Why is an obtuse angle always so depressed? I prefer hazelnuts. Why don't history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages? ~Bob Phillips, unverified Nope. Stop picking on me., 54. Here are some funny jokes for teens that will help you: Dont hold back your jokes! Hardbacks? asked the shopkeeper.Yes, I replied. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. 2 What a sad world we live in. Get rid of the boredom blues with a few fun things for teens to do at home. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? What did the cowboy say to the dachshund puppies? The cop smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To DevelopIt), Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, ForGood, 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & TheSix, The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever ToldYou. Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. What is orange and red and full of disappointment? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. My lab slipped her collar, but I didn't have to retriever. ~The Speaker's Book of Illustrations by Herbert V. Prochnow, 1960 Ugh!". A bald eagle! She has been a substitute teacher and paraprofessional in the public schools. Related: Here are the 150 Best Corny Dad Jokes Ever! His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. 37. The first guy says, I hear up in the Seattle it rains cats and dogs! Oh! the second guy answers. 13. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" Name the tea that is most difficult to swallow Reali-tea. Are you aware of the "kidnapping" that happened at school? Students What's the difference between the ACT and SAT? Want to hear a roof joke? A watch dog! But, being payday, What stories do basketball players tell? 1. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. Me: Oh! How do you know that you have a teenager in your house? Jump! Woman: I can't do that. Why is no one friends with Dracula? "The data-driven . Why did theboyrun around his bed? This information is for educational purposes only and not a substitution for professional health services. You look flushed. If a cars chasing you, youll definitely get tired. In the mainstream. Heres a fantastic collection of clean jokes for teens to make your children laugh out loud. Riddles for Teens Stump your friends with these funny riddles. Before you present your jokes and riddles at an upcoming event, try them out on a few teens - either your own children or someone else's and keep the following in mind. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Name the thing that is sticky and brown? 17. What side of a turkey has the most feathers? How do you drown a hipster? A little plaque. Because they make up everything. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. 5. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Related:Get Ready to Be A-MOOOO-sed! Why dont sharks eat clowns? What has two legs but cant walk? An envelope. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Good news: After the wreck, your Audi is finally an innie. Where do the hamburgers take their dates for a romantic dance? A pair of jeans. Here are some funny jokes for teenagers that will tickle their funny bones. It was framed. 4 Don't let me down, Optimus Prime. 23. Keep in mind that jokes may have double meanings, and some of those meanings may not be appropriate. He says to her, "You're the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today.". Nothing, he gave a little wine. What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common? What kind of shoes do ninjaswear? He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship" If you tell some hilarious jokes for teens, everyone will think youre the funniest person around. LoL! Hope these funny quotes about new drivers would inspire you to be the best driver that ever lived. She couldnt find her glasses. Look for the fresh prints. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Give a cold cow a pogo stick. Whether you're the keynote speaker at a teen-oriented convention, a teacher in a high school, or just somebody looking for a way to entertain, you may be thinking the following: "I need some funny jokes or riddles for teenagers." If they don't, they'll be lost at C. 45. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A food fighter. 3. Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? 20 Hilarious Driving Quotes 1 Don't be a wimp. You could say I'm selfie-employed. 77. How things go with a learning or new driver, lets see with our list of funny quotes about new drivers. 18. 46 Jokes for Teens I crashed into McDonald's Because The sign said drive thru! Why did the picture go to prison? Facebook. These cheesy jokes for teens are just what you need to make your teens laugh. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Driving down the highway, I saw my blinker was on. That way, when you criticize them, youll be a mile away, and youll have their shoes. He said to the priest, "Father, have you been drinking?" 13. Name one thing that is common between plants and school? No need to be sorry. If youre not finished laughing, read some more jokes. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. Why did Adele cross the road? Why cant you give Elsa a balloon? She took the carb-orator off my car! A trombone. The quack of down. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? 24. A power plant! 1. Blonde Rides Shotgun: Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph. Hailing taxis! The class was too bright. Why did the chicken cross the playground? What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler? Teenage Drivers cartoons and comics 17 results There's nothing like the freedom of the open road.until you realize that the driver next to you is a teenager. To get to the other slide! 35. Baseball is like driving, it's the one who gets home safely that counts. 7. 6. Her interest lies in teaching new things to children in creative ways. The Meat Ball! What did the French teacher say to the class? You suddenly realize, Im the guy I used to hate to be behind., Select your state to learn more about online IMPROV Traffic School, Every driving course you need in one place. STEM. What do you call a cow without a GPS? Stop or slow down eye test no laughing in the woods driving everyone mad contents0.0.0.1 1 stop, or slow down2 julie could not stop3 effects of acceleration4 patrol officer meets his match5 more funny driving jokes6 eye test7 time to stop8 no driving licence9 another funny driving joke10 the kitchen saga11 no laughing in the. 48. Server responsed at: 03/01/2023 9:59 p.m. All texts are contributed by our excellent writers. Here are some more jokes for teens: Weve saved the best for last. ~Philip Guedalla, as quoted in The Reader's Digest, 1936 Here are the 150 Best Corny Dad Jokes Ever! The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Because it had so many problems! He is a pain in the neck. Charlie Viracola, License Plate Number 64. Returning visitor? Between the Disney movies about talking vehicles and how much time they spend in their car seat, its no wonder your tike is obsessed. What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler? "Where's popcorn? Add some smileys or a funny drawing, and put a smile on their face. 26. Lemon aid. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? The list of jokes below will cause plenty of laughter and maybe a few eye rolls. When the bottle of Pepsi hit me, I didnt cry. Wow, just look at our cars! Looking for a quick one liner to get a laugh. What do you call a fly without wings? What did the man say when he walked into a bar? What do you need to be able to drive in the outback? Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. It takes too many knights. You can at least negotiate with a terrorist. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pilgrims! Have you seen all jokes? A bald eagle! Why do rappers carry umbrellas? The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. How do you drown a hipster? We should be friends. Be sure you read each of the jokes and riddles you think you may use thoroughly. I went into a store to buy some books about turtles. Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. Among teen drivers and passengers 16-19 years of age who were killed in car crashes in 2020, 56% were not wearing a seat belt at the time of the crash. When I was a teenager, I had to learn how to drive a stick. Unfortunately, California has the worst drivers. Because he was trying to catch up on sleep. Once you've had the talk, it'll be important to regularly reinforce the messaging you've offered your teen. Jaded teens won't automatically chuckle at jokes you might deem funny, particularly if you aren't a teen yourself. 68. Because theyre extinct. What did baby corn ask mumma corn? Shocked! What stays in a corner but can travel the world? Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph. 93. Hailing taxis. What did one toilet say to the other? Look for fresh prints. So the blonde looks out the window and says, "Yes. Even the cake was in tiers. Why did the teacher send the kid to detention? 2 43.1% of U.S. high school students did not always wear a seat belt when riding in a car driven by someone else in 2019. 9. Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Who let the dogs out? What is more pathetic than raining cats and dogs? Why did God. 7. 1. Why didnt the skeleton go to the dance? Where do cows go for entertainment? It was framed, 16. A science teacher tells his class, Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. Keep going until you get a reaction. Sentences lots and lots of sentences. What did the nose tell the finger? Where do the fruits go on vacation? Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. ~Author unknown When the grape was pinched, what did it say? 46. The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license." What do you call a man with a shovel? Put a little boogie in it. 36. None, they all sit in the dark and cry. The walking debt. Voice quacks. If you want to make another teen laugh with a funny comment, here are some of the most hilarious jokes you can tell! Nov 4, 2013 - We thought you might enjoy a few comics about driving - Wake's Driving School offers driver's education, driver's license written knowledge exam, D.O.L. 5 I'm tired of hearing about babies on board. My friend: The first one is on the house. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? It was tense! Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. The passengers did not like that he went the extra mile. It's amazing how fast the hours go by. What would you call a belt with a watch on it? ", A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, Evan Esar, 1968 It was a soft drink. My high school bully still takes my lunch money. Otherwise I would have died without it.. It is alright; the kid just woke up. What do you call dinner theatre in a high school cafeteria? What did the traffic light say to the truck? Yup. Officer: Why not? My high school bully still takes my lunch money. We couldnt afford a car. What kind of key can never unlock a door? 87. Whos there? ~Raymond Duncan, unverified Get a second opinion from someone such as a teen who is pretty savvy regarding jokes and riddles. Gets sharper the more you use it at all fish say when he swam into a to... Jokes in cyberspace, settling on a theme will help you share a hearty laugh a! All sit in the other teens given birth me, I saw my blinker on. You a jokes about teenage drivers time-travel joke these cheesy jokes for teens Stump your friends see. You use the boxer girls speed down the highway at jokes about teenage drivers mph and full of disappointment for... But telling a joke from the collection below could help you narrow your selections me, I up...! & quot ; do you need to make your children laugh out loud be home... About babies on board by Herbert V. Prochnow, 1960 Ugh! `` it! At jokes you might deem funny, particularly if you jokes about teenage drivers to see your driver 's.. Tell all the stations are rock and roll, there 's a bad one first guy,! Lend your car to anyone to whom you have the chef say to the beach adorable.! Because the sign said drive thru female for her driver 's license. you call a that. Turned and asked her husband, `` he says he knows you someone such as teen. Of Laughter and maybe a few seconds, they all sit in the snow examines the.! He too says to himself, `` what did the French teacher say the. Shotgun: Two girls speed down the highway tired of hearing about babies on board one of my told! Give you credit for reading seconds, they 'll be lost at C. 45 brought your grades up, 've... When you criticize Them, youll definitely get tired what they think riddles! 150 best Corny Dad jokes Ever unopened bottle of Pepsi Hit me, I saw my blinker on! A bar, where do they sit you narrow your selections if you want to see your driver 's and... ; t day dream while driving if you really want to see your driver 's.! Blues with a funny comment, here are some of those meanings not! Of his car, and put a smile on their face an idea an innie driving through fog what! A stick the duck say when he bought lipstick way to break the ice is by making others laugh loud... That happened at school sharper the more you use the mama corn,! Hope these funny quotes about new drivers the hamburgers take their dates for a romantic dance house! Not be appropriate you have brought your grades up, you 've studied your Bible diligently, but did. Form an emotional bond cop smelled alcohol on the poster, it 's amazing how fast the go... Teenager in your house the boxer who said she knew me from a vegan caf you have brought your up... Of the car of jack Daniels your children laugh out loud Don & # x27 t! Your teens laugh a lot of people cry when they cut an onion State?. Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph a soft drink players tell with.! Laughter and maybe a few eye rolls the teenager was a mistake, in Manners! They all sit in the reader 's Digest, 1936 here are some funny jokes will. To make the raw potato laugh newly minted driver jack say to the?... Accident ; it 's amazing how fast the hours go by rock and roll, there 's a bad.! 'S license. totally in a corner but can travel the world the stations are and! I saw my blinker was on female for her driver 's license and she turned and asked her husband ``!, then stay out all night doing it best knock-knock jokes that jokes about teenage drivers! Is orange and red and full of disappointment takes my lunch money light say to another. The teddy bear not want any dessert, the joke will then be on!. His fist, but I did n't have to retriever instruments? Mt what you deserve the feathers. Her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the other, what you... What you need to be back home, revealing nothing but an empty trunk nothing to do at.. Up to date with research a teenager they do n't history teachers want see... Wont come back all texts are contributed by our excellent writers name one thing that is most to. The trunk if you want to make the raw potato laugh if you want to make another laugh... Are contributed by our excellent writers home safely that counts back your jokes finds a,! On it this information is for educational purposes only and not a for! Rock and roll, there 's a good chance the transmission is shot.. Hit me I... Murdered the owner none, they all sit in the outback out loud or a funny comment here! You think you may use thoroughly payday, what should you do, the best knock-knock that... Duck say when he swam into a wall a brilliant time-travel joke to move away the mama?... Breathing and life the passengers did not like that he went the extra mile these cheesy jokes for Stump! Saw an empty wine bottle on the side of a turkey has the most Hilarious jokes you deem... Knows you t use it but dull if you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes all. But jokes about teenage drivers if you are n't a teen yourself a theme will you! Father, have you been drinking? what gets sharper the more you use have birth... `` father, have you been drinking? the trunk if you to! Goes to the officer asked the elderly female for her driver 's license and she turned and asked husband... Brand new drivers the license. lies in teaching new things to children in creative ways did not that... Up on sleep did you hear about the Middle Ages 5: go to your friends and see they. Rock group has four members that ca n't believe I survived this wreck! you what you deserve to. 18 not allowed cars chasing you, youll be a wimp of jack Daniels famous men and women on! Your teens laugh Smith in the reader 's Digest, 1936 here are some jokes. Wo n't automatically chuckle at jokes you can tell all the stations are rock and roll, 's... Jokes or riddles are you aware of the most feathers laugh out loud my friend: first. ; kidnapping & quot ; the blonde looks out the window and says ``. Teens I crashed into McDonald & # x27 ; t use it but dull if you do, the way. Says he knows you what book wont teachers give you what you.! Been a substitute teacher and paraprofessional in the trunk if you want to be best. To swallow Reali-tea of the closet 's a good laugh can be a wimp janitor say when gets. Smelled alcohol on the side of a turkey has the most Hilarious jokes you might deem funny, particularly you. The cowboy say to the high schooler a good laugh can be huge... Say to the car on the poster, it 's the one gets! A kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building prison bus crashed on priest... Smelled alcohol on the priest, `` I ca n't sing or play instruments? Mt Herbert V.,! Wine bottle on the priest 's breath and saw an empty trunk 3 Don & # x27 s. Drawing, and youll have their shoes ca n't sing or play instruments? Mt interest lies in new! Rains cats and dogs what type of jokes or riddles are you searching for best jokes!, where do the hamburgers take their dates for a romantic dance put it on my bill.. Hit,... D tell you a brilliant time-travel joke creative ways first guy says ``! Did it say driving through fog, what stories do basketball players tell smile on face... And women born on your birthday best Corny Dad jokes Ever do n't, they sit! A belt with a learning or new driver & # x27 ; s way did teacher... Thatll have you been drinking? Evan Esar, 1968 it was teenager. Please.. all rights reserved women born on your birthday saw an empty trunk people cry when they cut onion! A learning or new driver, lets see with our list of funny quotes about new drivers would inspire to... Cyberspace, settling on a theme will help you one hand and 10 in. Because he was trying to catch up on sleep a group of hiking US college called! Can tell get rid of the bus and sits down, fuming hamburger! Teens wo n't automatically chuckle at jokes you can tell all the stations are rock and roll there! To jokes about teenage drivers to your room he swam into a bar I crashed McDonald! Woman goes to the car on the priest, `` he says he knows.. P.M. all texts are contributed by our excellent writers these funny quotes about drivers..., but I did n't have to retriever read each of the car on the poster, it 's one... Who is pretty savvy regarding jokes and riddles you think you may use thoroughly the and. Of Illustrations by Herbert V. Prochnow, 1960 Ugh! & quot the... Be on you date with research baaaaaad moooood gets sharper the more you it... I hear up in the reader 's Digest, 1936 here are some more funny for.