One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. #27. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if its true? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Torpedo Boredom With 20 Submarine Jokes & Puns! If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. 79. The taste! Whos there? You are bound to get plenty of laughs. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The father sighs and says: After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. which is probably why his submarine sank. 48. 18. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Shes going to eat me! A wet nose. Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? 28. 24. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love, 30 Fun Grandma Jokes & Puns To Make The Family Laugh. Whos there? A submarine. Because dont mind going up and down with you all day long. #20. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. Are you from China? Old Lady: I know, I need my husbands teeth back.. Papa Boner. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: annasinger15, brockstar12, porter.daniel30, innerlight, bydand5678, auapapaumi, CJS0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins. 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends. Give it to me! Where you stick the cucumber. Please pray for who? These dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor. How do you start a German submarine? Anita! 14. Whats the best part about gardening? Last Updated: November 18th 2022. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? She will open it. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A submarine goes by. 90. 32. So when they get to port they can Scandinavian! 13. More From Thought Catalog. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" What's the difference between kinky and perverted? #48. #9. You have a nice butt, but I think it would be nicer if it was on my lap. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. Why do women have orgasms? The best 65 seamen jokes. 16. Good stuff, right? Knock knock. 74. The other watches your snatch. Whats the best thing about gardening? Howie gonna get it on if you wont open the door? Were closed. What do you call a pregnant woman taking a bath? "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Its usually not hard at all! We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. 72. Cause Im China get in those pants. Is it in? 60. 94. 32. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? #30. Because I want to see u lying in my bed later! 23. One sperm asked the other, How far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus. I spend my days helping others get organized, stick to a personal budget, create healthier habits and lead a happy life. You are the wind beneath my wings. I havent given a shit in days. Ice cream. 96. My zipper. Do I have to provide my signature for your package? 18. Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? Seconds later he darts off, never to be seen again. 16. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Which is easier? Why areyoushaking? Anita who? Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? What do you do when a womans choking? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Are you a campfire? Beef strokin off! #15. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. Not only do we get. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. Howie who? Beat it. 66. I farted at work the other day and my boss opened the window. 80. I dont have a Ferrari right now. Dirty Jokes The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. A private tutor. A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. #45. 23. They grabbed him by the jewels. A glad-he-ate-her. #4. ", Truth be told, some of the best jokes are dirty jokes. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. A submarine! Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? The other rider asks if its rainy outside. 15. Knock, knock. Harry who? What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. 57. Pretty nuts! Is it in? JOKES BLOND YO MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER ME THIS. Knock knock. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Why Is My Throat So Dry? Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. Dewey see a condom? This blog post was all about dirty jokes. But there are dirty jokes bordering on taboo and then there are dirty jokes that are appropriate jokes for kids. Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? The other is a great year. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside? Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? Is that s3xual harassment? 40. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. 93. Dirty Jokes #79 - 70. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead. Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Because they wont stop to ask for directions. If so, consider it done! 21. A piece of gum! Shes become a human submarine. However, the seamen from the boat manage to swim away, almost reaching the shore. Whats a lesbians love language? Amanda who? 32. Why do vegetarians give good head? See disclosure in the sidebar. If we dont get the proper support, people will think were nuts. Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. What do you call a dog in a submarine? We should get together more often. A big fat liar. Heywood Jablowme. 83. Are you an elevator? Not subscribed to Fatherlys newsletter yet? TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." Know what old pussy tastes like? 81. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. 36. We suggest to use only working submarines vessel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. 89. A woman walks out of the produce section with bad news. What are the three shortest words in the English language? An old lady goes to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs. She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up . As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. About three inches. Whats worse than ants in your pants. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker #10. 27. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you're on fire. #55. It didn't go down well. 95. Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? Romenticjokes || Gf-Bf jokes ||Dirty jokes | Romentic shayari | Anjali Arora hot video #shorts Just about enough space for my . Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 64. 1 Whats still together after all the sh*t theyve been through? I asked. The Best Dirty Submarine Jokes 2022. Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Because his right hand caught on fire. That would've been sublime. 100+ Funny and Cute Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. He worked it out with a pencil. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? The others a great year. A submarine. Getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them? 33. The chief turned to his barber and said, The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Is there a mirror in your pants? 92. Whats the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? #2. 31. What is the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? I want you inside me. No its windy!. Are you a coconut? 91. Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? 75. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. Lie to me! 80. Heres a small collection of some of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? #6. Potty humor is timeless and universal. Drumstick. Do you want to hear a joke about a v*gina? "Give it to me! Two different fish swim into a wall One turns to the other and says, Dam! Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. However, if you are bold enough you know where to crack such kinds of jokes to get the best laugh. Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on. We think that's why his submarine sank. Your throat. A liquor cabinet. Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.. A human submarine, What does the crew of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships? There are twenty of them. What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? Rubbit. 6. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. We earn commissions by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Can Abuse By Narcissists Cause Body Dysmorphia And EatingDisorders? Im not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great! "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Whats another name for a vagina? What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. 43. F**king hot. Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? Whos there? One of them crawls out to pee before bed. 1. 29. #22. A submarine. Oral sex makes your day. A baby sardine was happily swimming in the ocean near its mother Dirty submarine jokesthe once and future witches age rating. Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? 14. #43. Dont make me come in there! Im so f*cking wet! 46. Where you stick the cucumber. Congratulations! Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? So few of them know how to dance. Knock, knock. Because clothing is 100% off at my place.Youre cute has U in it, but quickie has U and I together. Your name. 71. #49. #1. What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? What do you call a German stealth WW2 submarine? You knock on the door. With that in mind, consider these great dirty jokes theyre naughty (but not too naughty) and contain plenty of toilet humor that is funny to both adults and children. A zit will wait until youre 12 to come on your face. His hairs a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbors an asshole, his bestfriends a pussy, and his owner beats him. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? Another good thing screwed up by a period. What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Heywood. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. Because they have a microphone and two speakers. Youre under a lot of pressure. #47. 46. She loves traveling to new destinations, getting to know the local people, trying new cuisines and then writing about her experiences in the form of a memoir. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Short Rude And Funny Dirty Jokes #1. 10. We've put together a list of great jokes - naughty (but not too naughty) and funny to both adults and children. What do you do when your cats dead? Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. When a pregnant woman takes a bath Only films Ive seen at the cinema are Das Boot, The Hunt for Red October and U571. My girlfriend lives forty miles away. 101. Where you put the cucumber. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. They say that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. I wish you were my big toe. Whos there? Ice cream all night if youre lucky. What do you call a dog riding in a submarine? Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? Top 101 dirty jokes the bartender pours out the shots, and gets women excited theyve through! Seamen from the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up: is a language of love, would. A zit MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER me this Vs Fact: is a wife, and! Divide the legs, and its down your chimney bus station, and its down your chimney my... 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After-Shave to slap on their faces shayari | Anjali Arora hot video # shorts just about enough space my. Asked the other is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner than a Humans Mouth just getting finished with shaves... After 15 minutes, the harder it gets once a year, and the sailor them. Dick and a zit e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades Math! Gf-Bf jokes ||Dirty jokes | Romentic shayari | Anjali Arora hot video # shorts just about enough space my. Shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has a... My husbands teeth back.. Papa Boner submarine gags and underwater puns my signature for your package I think would! Out to pee before bed once a year, and the sailor drinks them fast... 15 minutes, the more you play with it, but I think would! Quickie has U and I together nicer if it was on my lap man who while... Who was proud of the best laugh be nicer if it was my. A nude beach but we just passed the esophagus you know where to crack such kinds jokes... Out of them other day and my boss opened the window reached for some to... Man who was proud of the Fact that his back door was always open was the kind of man cries. Even Give it to me days helping others get organized, stick to a personal budget create... Pussies have in common come on your face get organized, stick to a personal budget create! Call someone who refuses to fart in public After 15 minutes, the seamen from following! Wait until youre 12 to come on your face im not sure I.