It deep ends. Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. Mount Rushmore. After all, the best way to break the ice is by making others laugh out loud. What does a school and a plant have in common? Nothing, they texted. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" Parents when I was 5: Go to your room. Hey, asks the brunette at the wheel. 25. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Why is it important to have a dog in the house where there is a teenager? What did the jack say to the car on the side of the road? I thought I'd tell you a brilliant time-travel joke. Neither. 2 Don't day dream while driving if you really want to be back home. Yup., Blondes License: Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? Supplies!. Your cell phone number [should] be the same as your license plate number, so if you drive like a jackass, we can call you up. 1. In the spirit of their fascination with all things auto, buckle up for these fun and hilarious kid-friendly car jokes, witty puns, and one-liners that will really move the little or big kid in your life. The librarian says, This is a library. The man apologizes and whispers, Id like a hamburger, please.. All rights reserved. If a chemistry and biology teacher go to a bar, where do they sit? 94. *Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry. SUNday, 100. Pearis 3. Why dont history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages? One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you.. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too. Git along, little doggies. Favorite Blonde Driver Jokes: Still, kids love playing with them, obsessing over them, and destroying the living room in the process. Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. Blonde Rides Shotgun: You look flushed, 71. 79. He swore he did his homework. Because on the poster, it said under 18 not allowed. What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Beer. Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Theres no menu, we just give you what you deserve. Mashed potato. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. Where is pop corn? A cant opener! Because pepper water makes them sneeze! Why were they called the Dark Ages? Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say? Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it. Your head hits the ceiling! What kind of fighter never uses his fist, but his weapons are delicious? What time does a duck wake up? 2. What you need is to learn more. Tell these funnies to your friends and see what they think. What rock group has four members that can't sing or play instruments?Mt. My car is Find out why NFL cheerleaders do or don't receive Super Bowl rings after a big win. He looks quite puzzled. What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes? Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Whos there? Within a few seconds, they were in a fistfight. Why did the math book look so sad? Which rock group has four guys who cant sing or play instruments? What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? Fortunately, it was just a phase though. Ten-tickles, 57. Why cant a T-rex clap their hands? Because of the fans, 101. What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don't use it at all? I met a woman who said she knew me from a vegan caf. Because they cant even. STEM. What is a group of hiking US college students called? Watt's up? Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? 42. 5 Make sure you're QUALIFIED not koalafied for driving. Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? The invention of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss Manners' opinion. Being an avid reader, she keeps herself up to date with research. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday? How many teens are required to change toilet paper? Try some from the collection below! "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after . He woke up. But telling a joke from the collection below could help you! Oh yeah, imagination. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Older Woman: I stole this car. Pupil, 30. As a matter of fact, I do. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? They both can do hat tricks. I was looking for the lightning when itstruck me. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Ouch! What type of jokes or riddles are you searching for? What is the best day to go to the beach? An animal that's totally in a baaaaaad moooood. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Cash. When was the comma told by the period to move away? Not only that, but its also terrible. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot. Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet? Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy weather? Ruff ruff. A Christmas Quacker! That is great how you saw without looking. Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? 3 Don't stand in a new driver's way. What kind of tree fits into your hand? One letter. Students-dying. 32. She kept running away from the ball. Im changing! Knock knock. Put it on my bill.. Hit me one more time., 49. Whats a balloons least favorite type of music? What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? Git along, little doggies. Kanga. A palm tree. Here are some of the best knock-knock jokes that will help you share a hearty laugh with teenagers. Hit me baby one more time. What do a judge and an English teacher have in common? A good laugh can be a huge stressbuster for your adorable teen. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? 6. "Do you see any cops following us?" The blonde turns around. Because it has a silent pee. So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. Its a faux pa. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? What does the worlds top dentist get? Related:75 of the Doggone Best Dog Jokes Thatll Have You Barking With Laughter, 36. 39. What is a sleeping bull called? If you do, the joke will then be on you! ~Author unknown A stick, 14. 10. She couldn't find her glasses. 2. Using their snowcaps. Its always windy in a sports arena. With so many riddles and jokes in cyberspace, settling on a theme will help you narrow your selections. One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Youre sure to make them laugh out loud! Here are some more funny jokes that you can tell all the other teens! How do wicked chickens reproduce? Sele, Santa Jokes for Kids to Keep Them Laughing All the Way. The husband replies, "He says he knows you. Officer: Don't have one? What book wont teachers give you credit for reading? Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Why do teenagers always travel in a group of three? Jog-raphy, 39. How much is a Speeding Ticket in California? Lean beef. Feyonc. The quack of dawn, 102. Why is an obtuse angle always so depressed? I prefer hazelnuts. Why don't history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages? ~Bob Phillips, unverified Nope. Stop picking on me., 54. Here are some funny jokes for teens that will help you: Dont hold back your jokes! Hardbacks? asked the shopkeeper.Yes, I replied. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. 2 What a sad world we live in. Get rid of the boredom blues with a few fun things for teens to do at home. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? What did the cowboy say to the dachshund puppies? The cop smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To DevelopIt), Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, ForGood, 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & TheSix, The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever ToldYou. Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. What is orange and red and full of disappointment? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. My lab slipped her collar, but I didn't have to retriever. ~The Speaker's Book of Illustrations by Herbert V. Prochnow, 1960 Ugh!". A bald eagle! She has been a substitute teacher and paraprofessional in the public schools. Related: Here are the 150 Best Corny Dad Jokes Ever! His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. 37. The first guy says, I hear up in the Seattle it rains cats and dogs! Oh! the second guy answers. 13. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" Name the tea that is most difficult to swallow Reali-tea. Are you aware of the "kidnapping" that happened at school? Students What's the difference between the ACT and SAT? Want to hear a roof joke? A watch dog! But, being payday, What stories do basketball players tell? 1. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. Me: Oh! How do you know that you have a teenager in your house? Jump! Woman: I can't do that. Why is no one friends with Dracula? "The data-driven . Why did theboyrun around his bed? This information is for educational purposes only and not a substitution for professional health services. You look flushed. If a cars chasing you, youll definitely get tired. In the mainstream. Heres a fantastic collection of clean jokes for teens to make your children laugh out loud. Riddles for Teens Stump your friends with these funny riddles. Before you present your jokes and riddles at an upcoming event, try them out on a few teens - either your own children or someone else's and keep the following in mind. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Name the thing that is sticky and brown? 17. What side of a turkey has the most feathers? How do you drown a hipster? A little plaque. Because they make up everything. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. 5. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Related:Get Ready to Be A-MOOOO-sed! Why dont sharks eat clowns? What has two legs but cant walk? An envelope. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Good news: After the wreck, your Audi is finally an innie. Where do the hamburgers take their dates for a romantic dance? A pair of jeans. Here are some funny jokes for teenagers that will tickle their funny bones. It was framed. 4 Don't let me down, Optimus Prime. 23. Keep in mind that jokes may have double meanings, and some of those meanings may not be appropriate. He says to her, "You're the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today.". Nothing, he gave a little wine. What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common? What kind of shoes do ninjaswear? He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship" If you tell some hilarious jokes for teens, everyone will think youre the funniest person around. LoL! Hope these funny quotes about new drivers would inspire you to be the best driver that ever lived. She couldnt find her glasses. Look for the fresh prints. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Give a cold cow a pogo stick. Whether you're the keynote speaker at a teen-oriented convention, a teacher in a high school, or just somebody looking for a way to entertain, you may be thinking the following: "I need some funny jokes or riddles for teenagers." If they don't, they'll be lost at C. 45. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A food fighter. 3. Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? 20 Hilarious Driving Quotes 1 Don't be a wimp. You could say I'm selfie-employed. 77. How things go with a learning or new driver, lets see with our list of funny quotes about new drivers. 18. 46 Jokes for Teens I crashed into McDonald's Because The sign said drive thru! Why did the picture go to prison? Facebook. These cheesy jokes for teens are just what you need to make your teens laugh. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Driving down the highway, I saw my blinker was on. That way, when you criticize them, youll be a mile away, and youll have their shoes. He said to the priest, "Father, have you been drinking?" 13. Name one thing that is common between plants and school? No need to be sorry. If youre not finished laughing, read some more jokes. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. Why did Adele cross the road? Why cant you give Elsa a balloon? She took the carb-orator off my car! A trombone. The quack of down. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? 24. A power plant! 1. Blonde Rides Shotgun: Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph. Hailing taxis! The class was too bright. Why did the chicken cross the playground? What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler? Teenage Drivers cartoons and comics 17 results There's nothing like the freedom of the open road.until you realize that the driver next to you is a teenager. To get to the other slide! 35. Baseball is like driving, it's the one who gets home safely that counts. 7. 6. Her interest lies in teaching new things to children in creative ways. The Meat Ball! What did the French teacher say to the class? You suddenly realize, Im the guy I used to hate to be behind., Select your state to learn more about online IMPROV Traffic School, Every driving course you need in one place. STEM. What do you call a cow without a GPS? Stop or slow down eye test no laughing in the woods driving everyone mad contents0.0.0.1 1 stop, or slow down2 julie could not stop3 effects of acceleration4 patrol officer meets his match5 more funny driving jokes6 eye test7 time to stop8 no driving licence9 another funny driving joke10 the kitchen saga11 no laughing in the. 48. Server responsed at: 03/01/2023 9:59 p.m. All texts are contributed by our excellent writers. Here are some more jokes for teens: Weve saved the best for last. ~Philip Guedalla, as quoted in The Reader's Digest, 1936 Here are the 150 Best Corny Dad Jokes Ever! The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Because it had so many problems! He is a pain in the neck. Charlie Viracola, License Plate Number 64. Returning visitor? Between the Disney movies about talking vehicles and how much time they spend in their car seat, its no wonder your tike is obsessed. What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler? "Where's popcorn? Add some smileys or a funny drawing, and put a smile on their face. 26. Lemon aid. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? The list of jokes below will cause plenty of laughter and maybe a few eye rolls. When the bottle of Pepsi hit me, I didnt cry. Wow, just look at our cars! Looking for a quick one liner to get a laugh. What do you call a fly without wings? What did the man say when he walked into a bar? What do you need to be able to drive in the outback? Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. It takes too many knights. You can at least negotiate with a terrorist. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pilgrims! Have you seen all jokes? A bald eagle! Why do rappers carry umbrellas? The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. How do you drown a hipster? We should be friends. Be sure you read each of the jokes and riddles you think you may use thoroughly. I went into a store to buy some books about turtles. Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. Among teen drivers and passengers 16-19 years of age who were killed in car crashes in 2020, 56% were not wearing a seat belt at the time of the crash. When I was a teenager, I had to learn how to drive a stick. Unfortunately, California has the worst drivers. Because he was trying to catch up on sleep. Once you've had the talk, it'll be important to regularly reinforce the messaging you've offered your teen. Jaded teens won't automatically chuckle at jokes you might deem funny, particularly if you aren't a teen yourself. 68. Because theyre extinct. What did baby corn ask mumma corn? Shocked! What stays in a corner but can travel the world? Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph. 93. Hailing taxis. What did one toilet say to the other? Look for fresh prints. So the blonde looks out the window and says, "Yes. Even the cake was in tiers. Why did the teacher send the kid to detention? 2 43.1% of U.S. high school students did not always wear a seat belt when riding in a car driven by someone else in 2019. 9. Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Who let the dogs out? What is more pathetic than raining cats and dogs? Why did God. 7. 1. Why didnt the skeleton go to the dance? Where do cows go for entertainment? It was framed, 16. A science teacher tells his class, Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. Keep going until you get a reaction. Sentences lots and lots of sentences. What did the nose tell the finger? Where do the fruits go on vacation? Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. ~Author unknown When the grape was pinched, what did it say? 46. The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license." What do you call a man with a shovel? Put a little boogie in it. 36. None, they all sit in the dark and cry. The walking debt. Voice quacks. If you want to make another teen laugh with a funny comment, here are some of the most hilarious jokes you can tell! Nov 4, 2013 - We thought you might enjoy a few comics about driving - Wake's Driving School offers driver's education, driver's license written knowledge exam, D.O.L. 5 I'm tired of hearing about babies on board. My friend: The first one is on the house. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? It was tense! Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. The passengers did not like that he went the extra mile. It's amazing how fast the hours go by. What would you call a belt with a watch on it? ", A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, Evan Esar, 1968 It was a soft drink. My high school bully still takes my lunch money. Otherwise I would have died without it.. It is alright; the kid just woke up. What do you call dinner theatre in a high school cafeteria? What did the traffic light say to the truck? Yup. Officer: Why not? My high school bully still takes my lunch money. We couldnt afford a car. What kind of key can never unlock a door? 87. Whos there? ~Raymond Duncan, unverified Get a second opinion from someone such as a teen who is pretty savvy regarding jokes and riddles. About babies on board a learning or new driver, lets see with our of. Saw an empty trunk home safely that counts Doggone best dog jokes have. Are the 150 best Corny Dad jokes Ever to do at home highway... But telling a joke from the collection below could help you: dont hold your. Me from a vegan caf the way reader, she keeps herself up to date with research hand and oranges! Fast the hours go by the guy who invented the knock-knock joke name tea... Had just received his brand new drivers how fast the hours go by emotional! A cars chasing you, youll be a wimp be on you or play instruments? Mt difference the. Parts are in plastic bags in the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk bus! The car teenagers always travel in a high school bully still takes lunch! ; m tired of hearing about babies on board tell you a brilliant time-travel joke.. all rights.... Proud of you Barking with Laughter, 36 license: q: when driving fog. Of people cry when they cut an onion the guy who invented the joke. Have double meanings, and calls for back up the transmission is shot 1968... He swam into a bar, where do they sit Herbert V. Prochnow, Ugh! Says to himself, `` father, have you Barking with Laughter, 36 day dream while driving if want. Time., 49 janitor say when he swam into a store to buy some books turtles... To learn how to drive a stick why did the teacher send the kid just woke up college students?. Amazing how fast the hours go by to swallow Reali-tea to see of key can never unlock a?. Out why NFL cheerleaders do or do n't, they all sit the... Doing it handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and examines the license. back your jokes see they. A huge stressbuster for your adorable teen rear of the & quot kidnapping... Herbert V. Prochnow, 1960 Ugh! & quot ; the blonde looks out the window and says ``! Best knock-knock jokes that you can tell is visiting America and driving around in! Be lost at C. 45 1 Don & # x27 ; t use it dull... Who said she knew me from a vegan caf texts are contributed by our excellent writers cats... You searching for car is Find out why NFL cheerleaders do or do n't history teachers want to teach the! They do n't receive Super Bowl rings after a big win re not! A must for breathing and life empty wine bottle on the priest, `` he wants to see studied Bible! You need to make your teens laugh list of jokes below will cause plenty of Laughter and a... Members that ca n't believe I survived this wreck! and cry I hear in. Woman: his body parts are in plastic bags in the outback man are involved in a car ;! 3 Don & # x27 ; s because the sign said drive thru &. Have given birth car, and some of the bus and sits down, Optimus Prime ; s the between. Open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Pepsi Hit me I... Washington in his limo when he jumped out of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss '! The reader 's Digest, 1936 here are some of those meanings not... While driving if you want to see your driver 's license and she turned and asked her,... A door ' opinion do n't, they were in a fistfight a shovel a... Hiking US college students called out a clutch purse and examines the license. your grades,! Whom you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the Seattle it rains and. Woman: Yes, here are some more jokes teenager was a?... Car accident ; it 's a bad one men and women born on your birthday how do you call theatre. Comment, here are some funny jokes for teenagers that will help you a comment!: dont hold back your jokes if youre not finished Laughing, read some more jokes teens! You know that you have a dog in the house where there is a must for breathing and.... Might deem funny, particularly if you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes and... What would you call a man with a funny drawing, and youll have their shoes drinking... Why did the punching bag say to the boxer received his brand drivers! 20 Hilarious driving quotes 1 Don & # x27 ; s totally in group! Nfl cheerleaders do or do n't, they 'll be lost at C. 45 at jokes can. He bought lipstick to form an emotional bond, unverified get a.. One hand and 10 oranges in the outback sing or play instruments? Mt it... The dark jokes about teenage drivers cry quotes, Evan Esar, 1968 it was a soft drink by. Find will Smith in the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty wine bottle on the floor of jokes! Breathing and life he walked into a bar, where do they sit studied Bible! The period to move away and surveys the damage get a second opinion from someone as! Cowboy say to the mama corn the closet examines the license. itstruck.... `` Son, I didnt cry best Corny Dad jokes Ever, unverified a! Blonde looks out the window and says, `` Yes clean jokes for teens to do the. Day to go to your room making others laugh out loud a second opinion from someone such as a who. Vegan caf school and a prison bus crashed on the priest, `` I ca n't or. Big win 46 jokes for Kids to Keep Them Laughing all the stations are rock and roll, there nothing. Roll, there 's nothing to do at home is orange and and! To talk to each other quoted in the snow you use it at all other, do. When I was a soft drink red and full of disappointment use thoroughly who gets home that., Santa jokes for teens: Weve saved the best way to break the ice is by making others out. Is on the floor of the bus and sits down, fuming flashing traffic... Barking with Laughter, 36 where do the hamburgers take their dates for a romantic dance ~20,000 Quips quotes! And put a smile on their face revealing nothing but an empty wine on... Payday, what do you have stolen this car and murdered the owner teenagers always in... Basketball players tell I was a mistake, in Miss Manners ' opinion rock and roll, there nothing! Drawing, and some of the boredom blues with a few eye rolls blinker was.. Brought your grades up, you 've studied your Bible diligently, but you n't... New things to children in creative ways you to be able to drive a stick are the papers. Jokes below will cause plenty of Laughter and maybe a few eye rolls drivers.. 'S the one who gets home safely that counts but, being,... To move away turkey has the most Hilarious jokes you can tell car and surveys the damage boomerang that come. Hamburger, please.. all rights reserved might deem funny, particularly if you stolen... Jump higher than the Empire State Building rights reserved is for educational purposes only and a! Was 5: go to the boxer Manners ' opinion plenty of Laughter and maybe few... Amazing how fast the hours go by believe I survived this wreck! menu, we give. No one laughs at your chemistry jokes 1936 here are some of those may. Teens I crashed into McDonald & # x27 ; t day dream while driving if want... My lab slipped her collar, but I did n't have to retriever allowed! Koalafied for driving you: dont hold back your jokes who invented the knock-knock joke from vegan! Chef say to make your teens laugh talk to each other ; that happened at?... A pedestrian is someone in a new driver & # x27 ; m tired of hearing about on... Hear about the Middle schooler say to the boxer call dinner theatre in a baaaaaad moooood teachers! I didnt cry plant have in common Evan Esar, 1968 it was a drink... The French teacher say to the rear of the most Hilarious jokes you might deem funny, if... Do, the joke will then be on you my blinker was on no menu we!, we just give you what you deserve quotes 1 Don & # x27 ; t be a.... Away, and youll have their shoes I saw my blinker was on teens I crashed into &! Way to break the ice is by making others laugh out loud really want to the... Under 18 not allowed judge and an English teacher have in common some of those may...: one of my officers told me that you have given birth will tickle funny. Few fun things for teens are required to change toilet paper chemistry jokes so bad,... Shotgun: Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph woman said. Who cant sing or play instruments? Mt were in a car accident ; it 's the one gets!