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Silencing the inner voice and experiencing more joy comes down to these three things: The mind is like a muscle. They are both Asian and not, equally embodying the American side of that hyphenated ledger. In this fast-paced world, we have grown accustomed to putting on a fake smile and pretending that everythings okay. Your values are important because they guide your behavior. Hsu, who made his name as a pop-music critic but has increasingly devoted his attention to Asian American history and politics, trafficks in this bothness, his career evidence that, while it may not be possible or even desirable to transcend race, it doesnt have to wholly define a person either. Ken wanted to go to law school and tried to start a club called the Multicultural Student Alliance. Or write yourself a letter. In a Netflix comedy by Katharine McPhees stepdaughter. Being able to laugh is incredible medicine for the heart and body. They believe in you. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Treating yourself once in a while is important when you are staying true to yourself. If its not fun, youre not doing it right. ~Bob Basso. So its all the more curious that one of his best friends at Berkeley turned out to be a very white sort of Asian what we called Twinkies back in the day and who now go by monikers like San Francisco whites (Asians with tech money who voted to recall the citys progressive district attorney Chesa Boudin). Instead, focus on building supportive friends. If neither of those appeals to you, you could try one of these ideas: Just be sure to remove all distractions, especially distractions of the tech variety. Its worth it to make the effort. (Your books coming out in September? Talk to yourself. This article has been viewed 118,979 times. Then, decide if you can attain these goals. ", https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201506/5-ways-build-trust-and-honesty-in-your-relationship, https://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/prevent, https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-makes-a-good-friend, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_be_fully_authentic, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201811/6-ways-discover-and-choose-your-core-values, https://alis.alberta.ca/careerinsite/know-yourself/, https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-get-over-making-a-mistake, https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/practice/resources/phqitoolbox/objectives.html, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201603/how-not-worry-about-what-others-think-you, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image, https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/use_your_strengths, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202102/embrace-your-imperfections, For example, if some of your friends are singing the praise of a film that you didnt enjoy, you can say something like, Im glad you guys like the movie, but it didnt do much for me.. Changing your attitude and perspective has the ability to change everything else. Some of these interests can even become business opportunities that help you increase your income stream. Other times, not so much. Ken was popular and handsome. Make sure that your friends support and admire you for being yourself; if they dont, question their motives and the reasons for your friendships. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Self-Care Fundamentals provides general information for educational purposes only. Related: Seize the Moment: 16 Practical Ways to Take Control of Your Day. No one has a right to know everything about you. Or perhaps more accurately, something was there most of the time. Sometimes, these relationships can improve through communication and a mutual desire for self-improvement. Write down the practical steps you will take to achieve your goal, how youll know that you have achieved each goal and the target dates to complete the goals. I believed I had nothing in common with these people and their stories, Hsu writes, referring to his mothers efforts to acquaint him with Chinese history and other tales from the old country. Ken also had depths that surprised Hsu. Stop avoiding yourself and make time and space for introspection. What will a no make room for? Its possible to bottle that farm experience (or whatever does it for you) to make presence, peace, and fun the norm and not the rarity. He also pointed out that the Voice was the kind of place where minorities and other weirdos often got their start as writers, yet another reason to bemoan the death of the alternative press. Until then, do what you need to do to shield your mind and heart from their negative attacks. Any grudge you hold is cement around your ankles. The only way to truly be happy is to get out of our comfort zone and focus on having the courage to accept our true selves and be authentic. When my mind starts wandering, I tell myself a little something like this: Stop. It involves standing up for your own values and not caving into the demands or expectations of others. 59. With so many changes in my life and so much on my plate these days, that little voice had been getting louder, and oftentimes it felt productive to indulge it. Examining your values will help you boost your self confidence, and also ensure that you stay on track with the direction you want your life to go in. Even family interactions elicit a mix of exasperation and comfort. Step 2: Place them in an orderly fashion ranging from most to least important to you. When that happens, and you realize it, admit your mistake. Be hot, have fun, and always stay true to yourself because people will victimize you regardless. Step 1: Make a list of the characteristics you think are essential. If youre the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, thrill-seeker type, that might sound as exciting as watching paint dry. Its nun versus AI in Damon Lindelofs new series. They argue about music and films. I lovelovefairs. Be true to yourself and dont rely on someone else for your happiness. Lets go bowling.. Social media has made it easy for us to pretend and when a friend shows concern, we simply send them a smiley face. Theres a whole lot of thinking that can get in the way of mindfulness and presence. Have a time where you detach yourself from technology and the noise in the world. But the emotional high doesnt last. All they looking for is, Hot N Fun. For example, a friend may say, I think youd look more attractive when you wear a fitting coat instead of an oversized one. You could take this advice and work on it. Sure, I do things I love but there are a lot of things I love that I dont do often, like spending time around animals. Homeboy, she's dancing for a reason, not just cause on I'm on her hind, By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us. It was a category capacious enough for all of our hopes and energies. When I told him that I thought this category was too capacious, that the increased visibility of Asian American communities in recent years had revealed some perhaps intractable fissures, and that some Asians were dismayingly conservative on issues such as crime, Hsu maintained that it was still useful to think of Asians as being a group with distinct interests. Scar S. Be hot, have fun, and always stay true to yourself. Hsu and Ken drive around in their cars. Hsus book is about the interplay of these different versions of the self, the suggestion being that, inevitably, there are limits to self-invention. Instead, say something like, How about we do something different for once? However, the issue with pretending is that we fail to acknowledge the feeling. Its hard to be fully present and have fun when a part of you is getting lost in a mental maze. However, having a vision and goals allows you to live life to the full. The information on this site is not medical advice, or for diagnosis or treatment. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. Its actually quite simple. This is just getting too depressing, his wife said of his account of Kens death. The voice in Stay True is not directed at them or us, whatever that might mean for a demographic composed of a myriad of ethnicities and cultures. Embracing your vulnerability motivates you to stand up for what you need. He was part of a loosely connected group of young writers Jon Caramanica, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jeff Chang who are now established names. It's ours. GET MORE FUN & INSPIRING IMAGES & VIDEOS. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. It can be tough to navigate life with personal integrity and a sense of selfespecially when youre youngbut being true to yourself can make you more fulfilled as a person. Either way, make sure that you avoid these unjustified claims about yourself and surround yourself with people who will stick by your side and love you for who you are. "Stay true" is how Ken used to sign his emails, an abbreviation of "Stay true to the game," the kind of silly phrase boys bandied about in the 1990s borrowed from hip-hop that over time. When they make critiques about you, they often feel better about themselves. And uncertainty is not your enemy. 5. Take responsibility for your own happiness. Did Cirie go too far by bringing family matters into the game? Or is it created the way a book is made by its author? Your inner voice is that of your higher self the part of you that seeks your highest good. People also make negative comments simply because they dont naturally tend to lift people up. He cited the Amazon teen rom-com series The Summer I Turned Pretty, about a mixed-race white-Asian family vacationing in a Cape Codtype place called Cousins Beach, as a reason to be optimistic about what Asian American identity politics could achieve. For the adolescent Hsu, this curatorial instinct found its purest expression in the zine, those xeroxed, stapled-together DIY magazines that long ago went extinct. This article was featured in One Great Story, New Yorks reading recommendation newsletter. We always did the things we loved simply because we loved doing them. Doing something you enjoy while judging, analyzing, worrying, fearing, or regretting in your head is like experiencing the world from inside a plastic bubble. you don't have much control over that. We drove to a record store in Red Hook, where once again everyone knew who he was. Stay true is how Ken used to sign his emails, an abbreviation of Stay true to the game, the kind of silly phrase boys bandied about in the 1990s borrowed from hip-hopthat over time crystallizes with new meaning. Busy Phillips Is Not Like a Regular Mom, Shes a Cool Mom, Theres nothing wrong with Busy Phillips being cast as Mrs. George in the upcoming, In Search of Tom and Katies Bubba Painting, Maybe punting on the larger plot can be forgiven if we get a sweet. "I stay true to myself and my style, and I am always pushing myself to be aware of that and be origina l." - Aaliyah. He was once robbed on the street, but his would-be muggers chased him down to give him his wallet back there was little in it but a Blockbuster card and a creased photo of Bjrk. For daily wisdom,join the Tiny Buddha list here. 25 Ingenious Ways To Better Yourself Every Day, Looking For Some Positive M Words? Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Learn from it and dont repeat the same mistake again. 3. It can often be difficult to stay true to yourself in todays day and age. Staying true to yourself is a matter of personal integrity and self-respect. To learn how to embrace your flaws, keep reading! You can also tell someone about your goals to keep you accountable. Its all too easy for one little grievance to turn into a laundry list of judgments and problems, hence the second part of the equation: practice mental quiet. Figure out what you are good at: maybe thats art or business, for example. Other risks might involve losing what youve built up to that point or disrupting a relationship youve come to depend on, whether or not its good for you. 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